Dear God

That’s where I am at tonight lol

I could write a dozen posts on this man, our synastry the many ways we are similar (we both have Aquarius rising, both have sun in the 5^th house, both have Neptune in the 10^th, and Uranus and Pluto in the 8^th)

You will often find me saying: sometimes you lose yourself in others and sometimes you find yourself in them. This man –not sure what to call him –has been a mirror for me on many occasions. We both suffer and shine in the same areas.

You will never hear me say a bad word about him, not really because I have a natural affinity for him. I genuinely like and care for him as a person.

The other day I was thinking about people I have loved (using that term loosely) but didn’t even like them as people. What is that shit PS.

That’s not the case here. I like this man immensely as a human as a person as a living breathing being that has the ability to drive me crazy,

Along with having a similar chart in synastry we have moon sextile sun  (great for getting along one of the best aspects you can have), Venus conjunct Venus (we have the same likes and dislikes) mars conjunct Venus ( great chemistry) Did I mention he sings and dresses nice (Venus in Taurus), We are karmic and have lived past lives together (I swear all these karmic loves are different) his Saturn conjuncts my Venus and we like talking with one another (Venus conjunct mercury) oh and we have an ever flowing vibe of forgiveness (sun conjunct Jupiter) a nice dose of whimsical romanticism (Neptune opposite Venus) and  my Pluto and his Pluto aspect all of one another’s planets by trine and sextile so just the right amount of transformation and depth without the parasitic I want to rip your heart out and possibly eat it that comes with Pluto squares, oppositions and conjunctions.

And despite all of his feminine planets being in a George Clooney state of detriment Capricorn moon (emotionally cool and closed off)  oh and Venus conjunct Saturn ( fear of commitment) I think I could have hung in there for the duration if it wasn’t for our Uranus (his) opposite moon (me) aspect.

I can’t do it I simply will not.

Lets recap the moon which is moi rules, your home base, your security, where you feel nurtured

And Uranus rules liberation, erratic-ness, and sudden changes

In his natal chart he has Moon square Uranus this indicates he is emotionally (moon) on and off, his relationships with women (moon) will often have an on and off quality. He will also say he has only moved a few times in his life but in the few years I have known him he has lived in a loft, a night club, a hotel and 3 other apartments. Remember Moon rules the home and Uranus rules sudden changes.

Uranus/Moon can indicate and inner restlessness so the person keeps moving to pacify it but the work is required to go inwardly. As the saying goes “where ever you go there you are”.  Until you recognize this inwardly you will keep facing the same circumstances outwardly.

According to Robert Pelletier in the book Planets in Aspect

“Because of your eagerness for personal freedom and your rejection of responsibility you would be totally unprepared for a union except on your own terms” .

I could possibly follow him as I lag behind letting him lead the way I don’t mind a man that runs things …if we didn’t have this Uranus opposite Moon synastry. I find he always upset me, as a water sign Cancer I need to feel stable. I don’t need to live in a white house with a picket fence and have a child I can travel the world I have an Aries moon after all but I can’t deal with the on and off quality of the Uranus opposite Moon in synasty when there is complete unawareness of my needs. Ya know I am impatient as it is (Aries Moon) and on edge Uranus aspects only enhances this. I can’t help but wonder who would like this energy? That feeling of forever being emotionally influx of not knowing what is coming next. That Venus conjunct Saturn doesn’t feel like it anchors this aspect at all.

(Picture from The Astrology of Human Relationships by Frances Sakoian and Louis S. Acker)

It’s hard to form anything consistent. And he remains oblivious to this. One time he called me on New Year’s Eve telling me he needed me to fly to Mexico he had to see me. .I can’t make this shit up, the urgency of it all and when he returned to New York he didn’t call me and was baffled as to why I was angry. Emotions come and go.

And I know he experiences me as needy the level of projection is so high like I know he is a Gemini so let me love you in a way that you feel free. I get it I have read the books. But when we go out he will tell me can we not talk about having kids. (I don’t care if I ever have kids and I certainly never talk about them). It is the strangest thing.

I could never emotionally collapse on him; I think the weight of it all would kill him LOL

I had a tarot reading recently I didn’t tell her anything she pulled a house for me (Lenormand Deck) and The Rider for him- pictured a man on a horse. She stated you are stable he is in constant movement. She pulled the Star card for what we share (it’s a lovely card, its love, hope and all the stuff that past life connections are made of it relates to the 6 of cups) I only wish she would have told me where he was headed on that horse of his.

No doubt he will call me from a new home in a far off city but next time I won’t answer I will be at home emotionally stable and reading about the stars.

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